The Blogger and the bootylicious fan

“Is that how you stare at every lady you hook up with? ”..

“Errr... If they are half as beautiful or smart as you? Yes, this is how I stare”.

“You really are weird”

“And you keep complimenting me” and this time I was the one reaching for my drink.

True, I had come out here hoping to check out if her ass was as smashing as her pictures on social media showed, and she had obviously come to meet the erotic blogger who made her keep a dildo at work. I couldn’t tell now who was more impressed with who. Her ass was everything and more, wasn’t sure I on the other hand was making the necessary impression.

“So now that we have finally met and gotten the formalities out of the way, you have confirmed pictures do lie and my ass isn’t all that”... lies ladies tell. She knew exactly what her ass was and wanted me to drool and give compliments. Who am I to deny her the pleasure?

“Don’t even try to be modest, you know your ass can stop more than traffic. I am even surprised I can talk, my brain is freezing up just staring at you” Quick line.

“Ok, stop the flattery. Let me pick your brain, what inspires you?”. She asked flashing all of that inviting smile at me.

“First off, I wasn’t flattering. I was telling you what my dick is saying to my brain. Your ass is something else. Secondly, just ask whatever you need to ask. I am all yours”. I began laying my foundation, wouldn’t be a bad idea if I got to fuck her later today. It was a 50/50 chance but I wanted the odds in my favor.

“How many girls have you slept with”

“Wow! you really expect me to answer that?”

“Yes Mr Bass, if I am allowed to call you that. You did say I should ask any question so please do answer”.

“Errm, ok. To be very honest. I don’t know how many. I don’t count. I find it weird”

“That is an evasive answer and we both know it. All guys like to keep scores even in their head but it is all good”.

“I am not ‘all guys’. It is just sex, we fuck and move on”.. I frowned.

“Ok ok, don’t start getting all worked up. Answer this with all sincerity, what are the first three things you look for in a lady?”

“Omo that is very easy. Brains first off, if I can’t hold a proper conversation with you I really don’t think I can fuck you. Then ASS ASS ASS comes second, that ass has got to be doggy fit. The final thing tho not really serious is height”. I reeled off my list with a huge grin on my face considering she ticked off every box perfectly. The only problem now is I didn’t know if I ticked all her boxes.

“Interesting” was all she said as she turned to call an attendant and order another shot of blowjob. I scratched my chin and wondered why the one-word comment and how many shots of blowjob she could go on (for those of you wondering, blowjob is a special served at Rhapsody, ICM. Nice mixture for the ladies)

We sat in silence till her order was brought and she downed it again.

“Can I ask a question of my own?” It was time for me to go on the offensive.

“Sure, why not? It only seems fair that we both probe each other”.  Oshe just the reply I wanted.

“Why did you really want to see me? Seriously”.

She did not reply immediately, instead she smiled at me and rubbed her temple.

“I guess I was bored for one. And I just wanted to be sure you were as your writings depicted you and not just some yoyo hiding behind a keyboard”.

Well that was usually their reason, I thought to myself as I took a swig out of the long island I had ordered earlier.

“And what have you learnt so far?”

“Well, for one you are a huge flirt. I don’t know if I should say it is a good thing but I like it. You are way more than I thought you would be”.

“Well! Do thank you, ma’am. First real compliment you have given me.”

“Now my questions continue. What is your bucket list like?”

“To be honest, my bucket list is quite about empty right now. Ticked off basically everything on it but one”. I chuckled

“Oh really. You be boss ooo!” She said while laughing out loud.

“Do calm your tits, I am but a small boy. Compared to you na”..

“Oh really, what and what do you think I have done?”

“I don’t know but I am pretty sure it outweighs anything I have attempted”. I took in my long island once again while staring straight into her eyes.

“hmmm do tell me, what is this one thing left that you are yet to do?”

 I don’t know if it was the long island getting to me early or I just wanted it so bad that I blurted out.

“Fuck you and really spank that ass”

“Oh My God! Oh my effing God”.

I didn’t give any readable reaction, just grabbed my drink once again.

“You are really crazy” was her next comment. Yeah obviously I had to be some shade of crazy to live the life I lived.

“Well you did want an honest answer and I gave you one.” I said indifferently

“I guess I did get the answer I wanted.”

I smiled at her. Now had I blown my shot or what? Only time could tell but it didn’t stop me from saying a little prayer. Guess God didn’t even need me praying too much because within second I felt a hand creeping up inside my thighs underneath the table. I tried not to flinch but my damn eyes just wouldn’t follow simple instructions from the brain.

She noticed my reaction and proceeded to toy with me further. She traced out my dick and grabbed my cap which was already expanding in size with her long fingernails and pinched me. I felt the pain deep but couldn’t do anything but frown a little. She was really as freaky as imagined.

“Tell me, if you had just thirty minutes to tick off that last item on your list, what would you do?”

Was she playing some more with me now? I couldn’t tell but thirty minutes was enough, I couldn’t be some Oliver twist.

I grabbed my drink and hurriedly gulped down the remaining contents while looking around for the waitress who had attended to us. Thank God she was close, I asked for our bill. I glanced at my wristwatch silently praying the thirty minutes had not already started.

I looked up at her, she was calm as a person could be with an evil smile playing on her lips and her hand still on my dick. The waitress came back with our bill and I left my five hundred naira change with her.

Today wasn’t the day for waiting, I thought to myself as I grabbed her hands from underneath the table and started leading her towards the escalator. I started another round of prayers hoping Ifeanyi(he was one of the restroom attendants I had become friend just for occasions like this) would be on duty today.

If he wasn’t I am screwed. I held her hand tight as we got on the escalator heading downstairs. Got down and turned right heading to the nearest restroom. I made way into the male section with a whole lot of guys turning around to stare at the lady who had just come in. They did not have to do much calculation to know what was about to go down.

I was half expecting Aisha to turn and walk out but she didn’t. About ten feet away and I could see Ifeanyi, damn I knew I needed to go to church on Sunday again for thanksgiving. I let her hand go and grabbed Ifeanyi by the shoulder, pulling him to the side.

“How far, I don dey find you since sef” I quickly lied.

“Oga Bass, wetin dey today? Today wey I even see you, food don sure”..

I smiled, he was in the exact mood I needed him to be. I pulled out a thousand naira note out of my wallet and squeezed in his hands.

“Which one free?” I asked in a whisper.

 “That second to the last one” he answered with a million smiles.

Good boy! I grabbed Aisha’s hand once again and checked the time. Five minutes gone, twenty five to go!